I have one real friend; most of my friendships are really superficial as it takes me a bit to trust someone with anything really close to me. My best friend is Aviance. We've been friends ever since I found out that she wasn't interested in my now husband. LOL. It's been 3 1/2 years now. Whenever I move to a new state, I lose my friends. At least, that's how it's been for me. You just get out of touch with them. Or you are in a different mindset from them and you just can't communicate like you used to, you know?
I really value my friendship with Aviance. She's there when I need to vent or lament about something. She's there when I just want someone to talk to. And I can talk to her about things, knowing she understands, because we're both in the same mindset about a lot of things. We have a ton of similar interests, and she's just a great friend to have.
I also have a close bond with my mom. She's my ultimate best friend. I can talk to her about just about anything, no secrets. She gives me her honest opinion and I take it or leave it. She isn't pushy. Well, at least not all of the time. I don't know what I'll do when the day comes that she's not with me anymore...hopefully that's a LONG time coming. I know we all must die, but I just can't imagine not having my mom and best friend with me to talk to anymore. I think that will be the biggest blow to me, and there's no way I can possibly prepare for that day. I believe it'll ruin something in me that I'll never get back, you know? Anyone who's lost their mother probably understands what I'm talking about.
I also have a close bond with my youngest sister, Tiffany. Although there are 5 years between us, we get along well (which wasn't always the case when we were growing up, of course). She and I talk on the phone for HOURS almost every day. She got married within months of me and had a baby soon after, just like me. Our children are a year apart in age. We have always been able to talk about stuff. Conversation comes easy for us. There isn't any uncomfortable silence, and we can sometimes just listen to each other breathe without feeling like we need to fill the silence (this happens a lot as we're both usually distracted by something or other).
I don't have a close bond with my other sister, Trisha, even though she's closer to me in age (3 years difference). She and I are just not in the same mindset. I wish things were different. I hope one day they will be. She's pregnant now so maybe my niece or nephew will bring us closer together. We just didn't grow up together. Trisha lived with Dad and Tiff and I lived with Mom, then, after I'd gone into the military, Tiff moved in with Dad, so Tiff and Trish are closer than Trish and I are. It's just how it is for now, I guess.
I don't have a close bond with my Dad either, although my heart yearns for one. We don't have that Father-Daughter relationship that I've heard other women talk about. I didn't marry a man like my dad...I don't really know much about my dad's likes or dislikes. I don't know much about him. When Mom and Dad separated when I was 11, that was the end of seeing my dad on a semi-regular basis. He was in the military so he was away on deployments and things quite often throughout my life before the separation. There was a few months out of the summer back when I was 14 that I lived with him for a while, but that didn't last long (I didn't like his girlfriend!) and I went back with Mom. He wasn't there much then, either. Always at work. I lament to God a lot about the lack of closeness I have with my Dad. What will I say if we never get closer and he is no longer with us? What will I say at his funeral? I don't know him very well. Oh, I know I could come up with something eloquent to say that will touch everyone and bring some tears, and I do have some memories I can share, but I sometimes wonder if I'll be more sad that I didn't have a closer relationship with him that I will be about his actual passing...which is horrible to say, in some ways, but I know that someone will understand what I'm saying. If we were closer, at least I'd have fond memories of him to give me solace; at least I'd have the close bond we shared to give me peace in my heart. I still pray for that closeness soon, but it may be that it's just impossible for that to happen with my dad.
You see, no one on my dad's side of the family is really close to anyone in the family. Close bonds aren't formed, as far as I've seen. There's just a barrier that no one crosses. It's sad, but right now, it's impossible to penetrate. Don't know why. That probably explains the lack of closeness with my sister as she grew up with that influence more than Tiff and me.
But that's about all I want to say for now. Got to go take care of crying Rayah.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Wow!
It's been almost a year since I last posted! Lots of things have happened in that time.
We found out that I was pregnant at the end of October. Wonderful news, I know. Then I began suffering from morning sickness...all day and night for the first 3 months. What fun that was! But I lost weight. Good side effect? Of course! I didn't gain much throughout the pregnanct, only 26 pounds as apposed to the 50 pounds I gained with my firstborn. I weigh less now than I did before I got pregnant!
Baby daughter was born July 23rd. She weighed in a much smaller 8lbs 6oz, 20 1/2in. Now I have two precious little girls!
We found out after about 4 weeks after she was born that she had a bad case of acid reflux. It ws causing her considerable pain and discomfort. And, unlike with some other babies who suffer, Rayah didn't have a failure to thrive. Instead, she gad gained 2 pounds in 2 weeks, a total of 4 pounds in one month due to her comfort feedind in attempt to ease her pain. She would cry for hours many times a day, unconsollable; driving my dh and myself crazy! She spit up large quantities several times in an hour! I would change my shirt 3-5 times a day, and her clothes just as much! And she would only sleep for minutes at a time before waking up crying, starting the crying for hours all over again. Very frustrating, if you can imagine.
We tried mylicon gas relief, which helped a little, but nothing significant. I then went online and found info pertaining to her symptoms...she had ALL the symptoms of acid reflux. Although I wish she didn't have this, I was glad there was a reason for what she, and dh and I, were going through. I made an appointment with her pediatrician and requested medication to ease her pain. She was reluctant to give me anything, saying it's normal for babies to have acid reflux and all babies have it, yadda yadda. I knew it wasn't normal. I have a firstborn who NEVER had these issues. I told her I wanted to try a perscription for acid reflux. She relented and gave us a sample. And surprise, surprise. It worked! Rayah slept like a normal baby, ate with fewer spit ups, and was overall a more pleasant and happy baby. I was thrilled, so I got the perscription filled for her and we have much happier days and nights with Rayah. Everyone, even the toddler, have less issues and we all sleep better at night. No more crying ringing in my ears. I used to hear Rayah crying, even when she wasn't. We've changed how we do things with her, too. We keep her upright for at least 30 minutes after a feeding, keep her upper body elevated when she sleeps, and burp her frequently, at an angle, with little to no pressure on her tummy. This makes for a happy baby and less messes to clean up!
She still has bad days, though, but they are not nearly as frequent, and we no longer feel like throwing ourselves in front of a train! LOL! Life is much better now...from that end.
But we have, at the same time as all this was happening, and is still happening, a toddler going through her terrible two's. This alone can drive me to drinking if I were a drinking woman. Alethea is blatently disobedient. Beligerent and difficult. She just doesn't want to listen and, as a result, gets her bottom swatted every now and then. Nothing harsh or violent. Just a couple swats on her diaper padded rear. It drives the point home...sometimes. But I get through this phase by knowing that it's temporary, even though there are times when I want to give her to someone else until she's over it! LOL. And the good news? Once she's out of it, I'll have to deal with the terrible twos with Rayah right afterwards! We've decided that we aren't having any more until Rayah is potty trained. We still have to potty train Alethea, but she's resisting, even though she clearly wants to learn and is showing all the signs of being ready, so we're waiting.
Alethea will be turning 2 next month. She's getting so big. Its crazy that she's almost 2! They grow up so fast.
My nephew, my youngest sisters son, will be turning 1 at the end of next month, as well, and my other sister is pregnant with her first. My dad is retiring from 26 years in the Navy. My mom is looking forward to that!
Well, that's all for now. Got to finally go to bed. The little one woke me up at 3:45am and just went to sleep about 20 minutes ago. Time for me to go back to bed.
We found out that I was pregnant at the end of October. Wonderful news, I know. Then I began suffering from morning sickness...all day and night for the first 3 months. What fun that was! But I lost weight. Good side effect? Of course! I didn't gain much throughout the pregnanct, only 26 pounds as apposed to the 50 pounds I gained with my firstborn. I weigh less now than I did before I got pregnant!
Baby daughter was born July 23rd. She weighed in a much smaller 8lbs 6oz, 20 1/2in. Now I have two precious little girls!
We found out after about 4 weeks after she was born that she had a bad case of acid reflux. It ws causing her considerable pain and discomfort. And, unlike with some other babies who suffer, Rayah didn't have a failure to thrive. Instead, she gad gained 2 pounds in 2 weeks, a total of 4 pounds in one month due to her comfort feedind in attempt to ease her pain. She would cry for hours many times a day, unconsollable; driving my dh and myself crazy! She spit up large quantities several times in an hour! I would change my shirt 3-5 times a day, and her clothes just as much! And she would only sleep for minutes at a time before waking up crying, starting the crying for hours all over again. Very frustrating, if you can imagine.
We tried mylicon gas relief, which helped a little, but nothing significant. I then went online and found info pertaining to her symptoms...she had ALL the symptoms of acid reflux. Although I wish she didn't have this, I was glad there was a reason for what she, and dh and I, were going through. I made an appointment with her pediatrician and requested medication to ease her pain. She was reluctant to give me anything, saying it's normal for babies to have acid reflux and all babies have it, yadda yadda. I knew it wasn't normal. I have a firstborn who NEVER had these issues. I told her I wanted to try a perscription for acid reflux. She relented and gave us a sample. And surprise, surprise. It worked! Rayah slept like a normal baby, ate with fewer spit ups, and was overall a more pleasant and happy baby. I was thrilled, so I got the perscription filled for her and we have much happier days and nights with Rayah. Everyone, even the toddler, have less issues and we all sleep better at night. No more crying ringing in my ears. I used to hear Rayah crying, even when she wasn't. We've changed how we do things with her, too. We keep her upright for at least 30 minutes after a feeding, keep her upper body elevated when she sleeps, and burp her frequently, at an angle, with little to no pressure on her tummy. This makes for a happy baby and less messes to clean up!
She still has bad days, though, but they are not nearly as frequent, and we no longer feel like throwing ourselves in front of a train! LOL! Life is much better now...from that end.
But we have, at the same time as all this was happening, and is still happening, a toddler going through her terrible two's. This alone can drive me to drinking if I were a drinking woman. Alethea is blatently disobedient. Beligerent and difficult. She just doesn't want to listen and, as a result, gets her bottom swatted every now and then. Nothing harsh or violent. Just a couple swats on her diaper padded rear. It drives the point home...sometimes. But I get through this phase by knowing that it's temporary, even though there are times when I want to give her to someone else until she's over it! LOL. And the good news? Once she's out of it, I'll have to deal with the terrible twos with Rayah right afterwards! We've decided that we aren't having any more until Rayah is potty trained. We still have to potty train Alethea, but she's resisting, even though she clearly wants to learn and is showing all the signs of being ready, so we're waiting.
Alethea will be turning 2 next month. She's getting so big. Its crazy that she's almost 2! They grow up so fast.
My nephew, my youngest sisters son, will be turning 1 at the end of next month, as well, and my other sister is pregnant with her first. My dad is retiring from 26 years in the Navy. My mom is looking forward to that!
Well, that's all for now. Got to finally go to bed. The little one woke me up at 3:45am and just went to sleep about 20 minutes ago. Time for me to go back to bed.
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